Moonlit Nights
by senga6
Summary: Collection of AU short one-shots and drabbles. Chapter 28: Looking Back. War was war, and that was that.
1. Veiled Smile

**_Veiled Smile_**

By: senga6

**Note**: There'll be some dark Sakura in this collection, and maybe even the happy innocent one we all know and love. That is why you're in the Card Captor Sakura section, right? xD I'll do the happy one… if I can think of a good story for it. ^_^

**Disclaimer**: I haven't owned CCS before, so I doubt I will in the future or even now. This will go for the whole… err… well, however long I decide to make this collection of very short one-shots and drabbles. So no more disclaimer after this.

* * *

She looked absolutely stunning. Her dark, green eyes radiated kindness and brilliance of the light. Her light brown hair had been curled ever so slightly, and they hung down simply enough. But her beauty wasn't the only thing noticeable about her. It was probably the aura. The aura of sadness and kindness and joy and hate, the aura that held everything.

Yes, she absolutely looked stunning. That is, dressed in all white, in mourning clothes. Her hair was tied up in a blood red ribbon, and little did the onlookers now that it was stained with real blood. She slowly stood up in the front of the boat. People dressed in black got to their positions, and a man cut the rope binding the beautiful boat to the deck. The boat was wood, carved with tiny, intricate designs. Many people noticed something else strange about the girl; upon her neck were two things: one was a golden necklace, the other was a red band. The mark of death.

That regal aura, that's what they thought when they looked at her. It was unmistakable. That everything aura, the regal-ness surrounding it, it was unmistakable. It was her. The liar, the trickster, but that smile was what they remembered.

She was the witch.

She was their princess.

Had she really tricked them? There was too much uncertainty. Too much confusion. Too much was simply… unknown.

The green-eyed girl caught one of the onlooker's eyes. The onlooker burst into tears right then and there, screaming, "My princess! No!" But it was too late. The boat had already sailed too far. The princess looked at the old lady who had cried out, and gave her the last smile she could ever give. The boat then proceeded to burst into flames.


	2. PastMarked Future

_**Past-Marked Future**_

**Note**: Wow, I wrote this ages ago, too. O.O Have fun imagining what might have happened. ^_^

* * *

It was truly a beautiful place.

Yes, it was old, and most of it had been ruined completely, hence why they now called it "ruins". But it was still beautiful. The tall pillars that stood proudly with a touch of wisdom and age, the unmistakably familiar Roman carvings imprinted on them through hands and time.

High above her head, there were millions of breathtaking drawings, the faded colors still depicting wonderful beauty and freedom. The stained glass surrounding the drawings, portraying the unknown, untouched by time unlike the drawings they surrounded.

She could not speak within the walls of the ruins, for there was nothing to say. In her eyes, it was simply beautiful. She could practically hear the bell ringing, the heavenly sound ringing throughout the building.

But that building was now these ruins.

There was a sad air that hung on the ruins, like a black curtain draped over a window. She could nearly taste the tears on her tongue, the saltiness of a time long forgotten, and the air surrounding her seemed to be mourning its own fate. There was so much history, so much of the past stored in these walls.

_Her_ past.

Whoever that would even think of destroying the place so filled with history could not be sane.

_Yes_, she mused, lightly tracing a curving pink line on a wall near her, _there is so much of the past in here..._

She smiled gently and daintily kissed a spot on the wall, marked _S.K. + S.L. WERE HERE._

_...but the future is not set in stone._

_Who knows?_

The past is what makes the future, after all...


	3. Smiling Through Tears

_**Smiling Through Tears**_

Her smile never faded even as the door shut, leaving the house in darkness, light peeking through the window shutters. A single, hot, searing tear escaped underneath her closed eyes, and crawled down her cheek, dropping down onto the wooden floor, soaking itself into it.

Ah. She had gotten the floor wet. He would be angry when he found out...

The tears continued to drop, one after another, descending down to the ground, but Sakura never made a single noise as she cried, her smile as sweet as ever, but a tinge of bitterness to it.

There was nothing beautiful about tears, no matter how the animes and mangas portrayed it. It was filled with ugliness, hate, and bitterness, tinting the eye with a glaring and ugly red, staining the cheeks.

But still, she would smile through the tears.


	4. Lonely Child

_**Lonely Child**_

**Note**: Leaving for China soon, so don't expect a new one soon.

A world without stars is so very lonely.

I often look up to the sky, expecting to see the comforting and beautiful lights scattered across the black-clothed sky, but then my eyes look downwards again, my heart feeling empty as I remember that they are no longer there.

I remember when there were still stars, as we had often gazed at them. We met on the roof of my house and would look at the starry sky together, falling in love with the lights that became part of our dreams and followed us during the day.

Slowly, the world became more polluted, and as the stars disappeared, so did he. He was simply unable to live without them.

He disappeared on the same day they did.

_Li Syaoran_

_Husband of Li Sakura_

_Child of the Stars_


	5. The World

_**The World**_

**Note**: FanFiction still refuses to underline the damn title. I'm adding all the drabbles/oneshots I can for this fanfiction at the moment that I either forgot to add or recently wrote down.

* * *

He held out his hand to her, crouched in the tiny space the window let him take, before ducking into her room, his hand still held there.

He smiled mysteriously, the moonlight illuminating his figure, his shadow darker than the night, stuck on the floor.

"_Come. The world awaits us."_

There was no hesitation when she took her hand, and with a swift movement, they were both off, into the dark depths of the night.


	6. Paper Crane

_**Paper Crane**_

She touched the crane gently, as if it would break the moment her hand and the folded paper came in contact with each other.

The paper crane; a symbol of her lost hope.

She closed her eyes and cried.


	7. Irrational Love

_**Irrational Love**_

Sakura smiled at him, and he realized how fake it was. Something in his heart tugged at his memory, screaming that he should remember the real smile. But why?

"It's so hard," she murmured, sighing, her eyes dropping to the ground, "so hard to keep on going every day..."

He stared at her, and from his golden-amber eyes, you could see the turmoil in him. The confusion. The desperation to understand.

She took a step closer to him, lifting her green eyes to meet his again. "Love," she whispered, "is irrational."

A cool breeze whisked by them, twirling the fallen leaves of red, brown, gold, and orange into the blue sky. Syaoran was falling to pieces within himself, feeling useless. Sakura sighed. Of course he would not remember...

"Love," she said as she took a step back again, her green eyes filled with traces of longing. "Love. It twists your insides, making you believe in anything, and when all is broken, that thin thread of love forever lasts. It cannot be forgotten..." Sakura looked down at the ground, refusing to meet Syaoran's confused eyes. "...ever."

They were met with another whirlwind as the earth began to move as did the continuous chain of time. Carefully, within the chaos and turmoil, Sakura kissed Syaoran's cheek. She carefully whispered into his ear as his eyes closed, "_One day, perhaps, you will remember. Until then... forget."_

When Syaoran reopened his eyes, they were filled with blankness. A blankness of knowing the fact that one has forgotten, but unable to grasp what has been forgotten. Sakura was smiling that fake smile again, and they were back to being two strangers, one the host, the other a guest, both not sure what to think of the other.


	8. Bridge

_**Bridge**_

She sat there, looking up to the forever cloudy sky, eyes dreamily watching the never-ending grey.

Her ghostly figure seemed to sit upon a ruined arch of rocks, carefully cut and placed together, but ultimately ruined.

It had been her favorite bridge long ago, the one she liked to sit on and watch the stunning reflection of the sun on the water, shimmering. The seeming millions of lily flowers and green taking up a lot of space, but when she positioned herself correctly, she could see the sun's reflection. When she needed to get away from the rest of the world in her annoying family, when she just wanted to run away from the world, it was always there.

She had watched the men destroy what had once been her home with impassive eyes, for ghosts could not cry, nor feel. But when they touched her bridge…

She'd screamed for all she'd been worth, going into a rage the world had never seen before, and strangely enough, they didn't completely destroy her bridge, unlike the other ones. They had left as quickly as possible, leaving her with her bridge and the ruined place she once called home.

She wasn't sure how long it had been since then, since time didn't really matter to her. But at least now she was alone with her bridge.


	9. Masterpiece

_**Masterpiece**_

Note: Kind of a continuation of Bridge. Couldn't underline the title after I saved it again. T.T

* * *

A part of a masterpiece, laying on the ground, still a pure white after all the years it had taken, and blows it had took as well.

She walked amongst the stones and ruined pieces of works sadly, gently touching one that had once been apart of an amazingly huge column, now reduced to broken parts and designs that seemed more like a puzzle broken in a fit of rage.

She left her lonely bridge to see what was left of her home, and was disappointed to see there was nothing left untouched.

There was an eerie silence that gave her green eyes a haunted look, and she bent her head in memory of those lost, captured between another war.


	10. Dreams

_**Dreams**_

She was dreaming.

She was always dreaming. During the day, she dreamed the things that could have been, thinking upon the nightmares mixed into the dreams she had at night.

_Reality was just another nightmare, after all._ She repeated that to herself over and over, getting through her hate-filled day, knowing she could get over it by thinking that it was all going to end soon.

Because dreams and nightmares had to end at one point, right?


	11. Trouble

_**Trouble**_

Li Syaoran liked to wander.

In fact, he was always wandering.

When he was two, his mother exasperatedly told him he would wander into trouble itself.

He absently wondered if trouble came in the form a girl around his age with startling angry green eyes and fiery auburn hair.


	12. Oops

_**Oops**_

Syaoran ducked underneath another wooden, mold growing it, giving it an almost glowing neon-green look. Shuddering, he moved away from it, before plopping himself on the good old non-glowing ground.

He absolutely hated girls, especially the ones that cooed over him, announcing that he was "SOOOO cute", attracting even more of their kind. It wasn't his fault he was only 6, and thus in the "cute" range!

Then, he snapped out of his sulky thoughts when a soft melodious voice reached his ears. It was to be expected; he was, after all, under a school stage (in a desperate attempt to get away from those girls).

Through all the wood (and mold), he couldn't quite make out the words, but made his way where he thought to be right under the singer, and in a way, he was like a man caught by a siren's song, and as if in a trance, put his hands on the wooden beam that made it more difficult for him to hear, as if to wish it away..

"…the sun, rises

I cry, forever

Hear, my plea,

Tell me what you see;

For I see a little girl

Who never found her heart."

A loud squeal scared Syaoran so badly that he actually tripped on air and started to fall, instinctively grabbing onto the beam with all his might, before the worst happened; it cracked.

The wood gave way, and resulted in another wooden beam above it giving way, and the same happened to the one above it. Soon, part of the stage basically completely collapsed, and Syaoran wondered if he was going to die.

The cracked wood fell right on front of him, and a girl fell with them. Sitting on top of the pile, she blinked at him, green eyes confused.

He offered her a sheepish smile. "Oops?"


	13. Free

_**Free**_

She was always the type to do nothing when she was supposed to. It wasn't really her fault, either. It was how she was raised, but the spark of defiance came from her dead parents she was born to, and never knew.

She sat there, on the floor, dark eyes glazed with pain and watching the air before them, arms held up by chains and legs limp.

She smiled to the silence. _'Someday,'_ she thought, _'I will be free.'_


	14. Desk

_**Desk**_

An origami flower, so delicate, lay on her desk.

She was sick of it. That stupid boy had come nowhere and just _took_ her desk! Sure, she was invisible and all ghosty, but really, that was rude!

She was on the desk, huffing as she smoothed out the wrinkles on her uniform she had died in. She seethed as another girl, giggling, dropped a box of _something_ on her desk. For the boy.

_Dammit_, she wanted her desk back!

The boy came in and sat down, never looking up, too busy searching through his bag for the homework due that day. The teacher came just as the bell rang, and the boy looked up right on cue, meeting the very annoyed look in the emerald eyes of the girl ghost.

"-Huh?"


	15. Pleased

_**Pleased**_

She loved to run.

It was her freedom, her personal stress reliever. To feel the wind, blowing against her face, whistling in her ear, cooling the warm, sweaty skin it touched; it was wonderful.

To her, she often felt as though the sky was asking her to continue, keep on running, continue until the sky ended (and in other words, never).

She would stop when her once feather-light feet became too heavy to drag and her breath came in almost desperate pants. Then, she sat down, drank out of the water-bottle she had brought, and lifted her head to the sky for a few minutes.

Then, she let her feet take her body wherever they pleased.


	16. Sorry

_**Sorry**_

She was a sorcerer, a magician, one of the people in hiding because their magic was far too dangerous for the rest of the world to accept. But even they had their weaknesses, as their magic was not limitless.

To use up all their magic… It meant death, but death in their own body crumbling to dust, and then feeling every single moment of it. It had to be painful.

A sorcerer grew stronger in magic as time went on, just as regular humans grew stronger physically. An apprentice sorcerer could most definitely not lift up an entire plane with their magic, and definitely not long enough to safely land it down.

Sakura was perhaps the strongest apprentice sorcerer there was, but even so, she was an _apprentice sorcerer_.

"Syaoran," she choked out, both hands on the floor of the airplane on the aisle, glowing a blinding neon pink, "I'm sorry."

One word escaped from his mouth; "_No_."

But then, everything went black, and when he woke up again, there was no Sakura lying on the bed next to him.

They never found her body.


	17. Constellations

_**Constellations**_

Syaoran had fallen asleep the moment his head touched the airplane backseat, tired from waking up at two in the morning to get on the plane.

It had seemed so quick yet so slow when Sakura had woken him up, but he did so with a few mumbled curses, only causing his fiancee to grin.

"Syaoran," she whispered, green eyes glittering with childish delight, "_look_."

And he did so, looking down from the airplane window along with Sakura, and they watched as lights appeared from down below, looking almost like stars in constellations, with the exception it was on the ground.

"Yeah," he murmured, "it's beautiful."

With that said, he fell asleep again.


	18. Hundred

_**Hundred**_

A raspy voice sang, "Happy birthday to me…"

A hundred years of living, fifty knowing Syaoran, fifty missing him.

The old woman laughed, her once-auburn hair turned white, lively green eyes now dull. Even time had its effects on her.

That night, in her sleep, before the next day started, she passed away.


	19. Water Collector

_**Water-Collector**_

Syaoran grumbled as he continued trudging his way through the tall ferns, wincing as he stepped on something sharp, and vowed to not look up again until he'd arrived at the river so he wouldn't have to get another cut. This was why he hated being the one to go out and collect water for the group.

'The group' was a group of people that had nowhere to go, and had simply banded together. Someone like him, whose parents had died long before they could really know and remember them.

Knowing he was going to have at least five mosquito bites by the time he arrived back at 'camp', he took another step through the grass, and looked up.

Syaoran's eyes widened and he watched, unable to tear his eyes away from the sight before him.

A girl, barefeet, danced upon the rocky dirt and sand, tiny little lights that seemed to have wings (perhaps they were fairies?) dancing with her, bathing on the moonlight.

Maybe being the water-collector wasn't so bad after all.


	20. Mountain

_**Mountain**_

He was, as some would put it, an explorer.

Sure, he liked to explore the places that no one had been to. The places filled with utter danger, animals that could kill him in an instant, places that no human, apparently, had been to.

Perhaps he was an idiot.

But maybe it was a wish deep down in his heart to find the places where he had been born and raised for ten years.

At a few months past ten, he had been found by a man, and he had bitten him, though he had no recollection of this incident.

The scientists were intrigued. A boy, that had lived in the wild, yet able to speak? That must mean that he had human contact, yet perhaps this maybe tribe-like people had lived with animals. But why had the boy come to the city people?

And when the asked, Syaoran had simply stared and said he didn't remember. The doctors had attributed this forgotten time period to amnesia or something, though why it had happened so suddenly, it was anyone's guess.

So here he was, climbing a very steep mountain with his best friend Hiiragizawa Eriol (though he would never admit that) and his wife-to-be, Daidouji Tomoyo.

Panting, he pulled himself up and sat on the ground with a dull thud, Eriol and Tomoyo following his example. But, when he looked up…

There was a girl, standing in a position that said that she had been waiting for them, rags put together as a dress, green eyes sparkling mischievously, smiling mysteriously..

"Welcome, Daidouji Tomoyo and Hiiragizawa Eriol," she said in a light voice.

"And…"

Her smile grew wider.

"Welcome back, Li Syaoran."


	21. Fire Dreamer

_**Fire Dreamer**_

Hey, people! I haven't updated in a while… I'M SORRY! I have so many other things I'm working on, random ideas clogging my brain that were mostly for the other stuff I'm working on, and I basically forgot about this.

Have to mention that the lack of reviews for all those oneshots/drabbles I put up were disappointing… . But anyways, even with the disappointing number of reviews, I wrote this because I felt guilty for not writing in a while. That's me, always being guilt-tripped by my own self… This was slightly inspired by Dustfinger in Inkheart who is awesome, by the way.

AH WELL! Have fun reading this… ^_^

Random fact and note: this is longer than most of my oneshots. *hits head* Also, I like cliffhangers. *grin*

* * *

Once upon a time, in a land that would be long forgotten as time took its course, there was a girl who dreamed of fire, fire that set the world on fire and took the girl's breath away.

Her name was Kinomoto Sakura, but all knew her as the Fire Dreamer.

Auburn hair that flew in the air when she ran, as if setting the air itself on fire, and green eyes with a fire of its own, her pale skin contrasting with the fire she played with, danced with, and dreamed of.

This was the Fire Dreamer.

"Fire Dreamer!" a girl called, shifting her large wooden basket into a more comfortable position, exotic red eyes staring into green ones, a faint smirk on her face as she brushed her dark hair away from her face. "I heard the Royalties themselves have called upon you, to see if the rumors of your talents were true."

Sakura laughed, green eyes sparkling with mischief, her hands bouncing the ball of fire back and forth as the other girl shook her head, knowing that all she did should be impossible.

"I'm more surprised they didn't call upon you, Form Dancer!" she called after the girl's back, both of them chuckling.

"What about the Song Weaver?" the 'Form Dancer' asked as she dumped the water in her basket into the pail.

"Hey, don't drag me into this, Meiling!" shouted a amethyst-eyed girl, picking up the pail, raven hair swinging, mouth quirked up into a suppressed smile.

"O Mighty Song Weaver, we bow to you! You are too mighty and amazing for lowly peasants such as I!" Sakura announced, pretending to faint.

"I'm your cousin, Sakura!" she protested as Meiling doubled up in laughter.

"And how did such a lowly peasant become the cousin of such a might being, we'll never know, Tomoyo," Sakura sighed with a grin.

"So what is this I heard about the Royalties calling you?" Meiling asked after she had caught her breath.

Sighing, her grin dropping, Sakura answered, looking troubled as she played with the ball of fire, throwing it up and catching it with twists and moves that seemed rather pointless. "The Royalties wishes for me to perform at the annual Autumn Ball."

Tomoyo squealed and latched onto her arm, eyes flashing with excitement. "What's not to like about that? To perform at the Autumn Ball is a dream for us artists!"

"I guess," she murmured softly, still looking unsure as she caught the ball with the hand not attached to the arm that Tomoyo was still latched on.

"You're worried about us, aren't you?" Meiling remarked with a roll of her eyes. _Of course Sakura would – she worries about everything, especially her friends._

"If I do accept, then I'll have to practice more, and I'll be leaving for the Palace, which is two weeks' worth of walking!" Sakura protested, looking more worried than ever. "Then you guys won't have me to help around the house and make our weekly payments! How will you guys get enough money?"

Meiling huffed, crossing her arms, narrowed red eyes looking into worried green eyes accusingly. "Excuse me? I do believe we can take care of ourselves!"

Sakura blushed prettily and stuttered out a response as Tomoyo removed herself from Sakura's arm, looking quite amused by the whole thing.

"I- I didn't mean you guys can't take care of yourselves! I- I'm just… worried," she murmured, looking downcast.

With a sigh, Meiling hugged the girl as Tomoyo did the same.

"I'm sure you'll do fine, Sakura!" Tomoyo said happily, her usual smile in place. "Don't worry about us. We'll be fine – we can do things without you, you know."

Meiling and Sakura sighed as Tomoyo lapsed into some kind of mumbling about how she was simply disappointed she couldn't video tape her precious Sakura-chan while she was at the Palace and…

"Syaoran!" interrupted Sakura as she waved to the form on the path to market, feeling guilty for being glad that there was an excuse to get away from Tomoyo when she had a 'moment'.

Li Syaoran turned her way, offering her a slight smile before continuing on his way, easily walking with his large load.

"I don't see how the two of you are related, Meiling," Sakura remarked.

"Well, we're very distantly related," Meiling replied cheerfully as she began pulling Sakura towards Syaoran.

"What are you doing?" Sakura shouted as Meiling quickly grabbed a few baskets, desperately looking at Tomoyo for help, but she was still in the middle of her 'moment'.

"No escaping this time, Sakura!" Meiling announced cheerfully, offering her a very evil smile. "You're going to market this time, whether you like it or not!"

"Why?" Sakura groaned, turning her green eyes up to the skies above, but her only answer was a fluffy cloud moving across the blue sky slowly.

"I know, I know," Meiling assured her mockingly. "I don't like any of those idiotic boys that ogle us all the time, but it's necessary to buy food in order for us to live."

"But it's not necessary for me to come with you!" Sakura practically screeched.

"Well, it isn't fair if I'm the only one to suffer," Meiling pouted. "Besides, I can't take Tomoyo who's currently in a 'moment', so I must take you."

Again, Sakura looked to the sky, as if expecting rain to start pouring, thus preventing them from going to market. But much to her chagrin, there was no longer a cloud in sight.

"I hate this," she mumbled darkly as she let herself be dragged by Meiling.

~:~*~:~

It was nerve-racking. She sat in one of the most beautiful carriages she had ever seen, and that was only the outside, the perfect unmarred shining black outside. The inside was basically completely covered with dark velvets, smooth underneath her rough fingertips.

She would've been completely freaked out if it had been anyone but her brother sitting right next to her, a soldier to escort her to the Palace.

"ONII-SAN!" she had cheered as she jumped on the brother she had not seen in a few years.

"Miss me, kaijuu?" he asked teasingly as Sakura had pouted.

"I'm not a monster!" she protested and each word was accented by a stomp with a vengeance. Touya's poor aching foot didn't know what hit it, especially after so many years of being out of practice.

Now, both of them were sitting in the most comfortable carriage Sakura had ever been in (not to mention the _first_ carriage she had been in), a companionable silence sitting between them.

"How're you guys doing?" Touya's gruff voice broke through her thoughts, and the sad look in his almost muddy brown eyes told her he was feeling guilty for leaving them alone for so long.

But it wasn't his fault, after all. It was always the Royalties' fault, demanding, demanding, demanding. Stupid Royalty.

"Fine," Sakura murmured, another pang of homesickness throbbing in her heart. It may have been tough, living there, for they were dirt poor even though the fame of their arts had spread all the way to the Palace itself, but every day was a happy day. Because there was _family_, blood-relation or not.

Touya looked at her disbelievingly, obviously knowing that she was covering something up, but opted not to say anything. Sakura was stubborn, and although she was a sweet child, once she made up her mind about something, it was next to impossible to convince her otherwise.

"I heard you've been invited to the Palace."

Sakura smiled at him. "Seeing how you're escorting me there, yes, I suppose."

Touya snorted, amusement dancing in his eyes. "To offer your services for the annual Autumn Ball?"

Sakura leaned back into her velvet-covered seat as the carriage wheels ran over a rock, causing a slight discomfort as the carriage rocked. "Apparently so."

A sad smile stole over his features. "Mom and Dad would be proud."

Rubbing the velvet, Sakura thought carefully before replying, her own green eyes glinting with overwhelming sorrow.

"I hope so."

Silence settled over them again, but this one was somewhat more uncomfortable than the last. Touya gazed into the air, thoughts in another world completely whereas Sakura continued to rub the velvet, as if asking for comfort.

Slowly, sleep crept into the borders of her mind, burning away all other thoughts and emotions.

_Sleep, sleep, sleep…_

She could hear the lure of fire, her wonderful fire-filled dreams, where she could forget her sadness and unhappiness, and slowly fell into the grasp of dreams.

She did, indeed, dream of fire, fire so bright it almost burned your eyes, fire of every color imaginable and unimaginable, the height of the sky, and she dreamed with them all, dancing and weaving through them, playing.

~:~*~:~

Sakura woke after countless repeating days of breakfast, sleep, think, lunch, think, think, dinner, and sleep. She was only half aware of her surroundings, but could vaguely process through her brain that an unfamiliar voice talking to her brother's deep tones.

"Who is it?" a snide voice asked.

"General Touya, here to escort the Fire Dreamer to the Palace."

There was a pause before the soldier's shaky voice came through, suddenly a lot more nervous and less arrogant than before.

"Y- yes, General Sword Protector!" a squeak came floating through the dark curtains and the carriage began moving again.

Sakura was more coherent by then and turned to her brother, emerald eyes glinting with sleepy amusement.

"Sword Protector?"

Touya grimaced. "Don't look at me like that, I'm not the one that chose the name. I don't see why all people of importance and artists need to be given a special second name."

"At least mine sounds better," she mumbled, rubbing her eyes tiredly.

Touya scowled. "They seem to put some more special effort for the people they like, and stick some random name on the people they don't. Meaning me."

Sakura rolled her head around, feeling the bones crack and relaxation seeping through her body as she sighed contentedly. "Are you sure? Yukito kept on hinting to me you had some sort of complex, but I'm still not sure what it is."

Touya's scowl grew, though in the very faint light no one could notice the tiny spots of red on his cheeks. "I don't."

"Ah, denial," Sakura sighed with mocking cheerfulness, causing Touya to stop his grunt mid-way and glare instead.

After lifting the heavy dark-colored curtains, light immediately flooded into the carriage, causing the siblings to blink as their eyes adjusted to the sudden light.

As she tied the curtains to the side with some velvet string attached to the sides, she desperately wished she could have been with her friends as well, however nice it had been to see her brother again. She still missed them, and wasn't quite sure if she could go through this ball without them.

The carriage rode through the path in the Royal Gardens, giving Sakura a lovely view of the flowers that grew. Though, on her side, far past the gardens, she spotted a staging area.

_The place where the Autumn Ball is held, where the artists that perform there are coveted by those all around the world, and those who get tickets to see are close to being murdered, and the Royal Family has front seats. Wonderful._

The carriage shuddered to a stop and Touya climbed out after opening the door and jumping out, extending a hand to his little sister as well as offering her a sheepish smile, knowing fully well that she could handle something as simple as climbing out of a carriage.

Rolling her eyes and deciding that she might as well comply with her brother's incessant worrying for her, she took his hand and jumped out, her ragged, pink-dyed dress flaring out as she did so.

Touya looked her over disapprovingly, as if seeing her in a new light. "I guess it's a good thing that I told you not to bring anything other than a couple of Tomoyo's dresses. You look pretty awkward in anything else."

Sending him an annoyed glance, she looked up and her eyes were blinded temporarily. She blinked a few times and looked again, unable to keep herself from gaping.

A castle made of white marble, set against a blue sky and a few of those fluffy clouds she recalled seeing back home in her tiny village hung there. It seemed to come from some fairy tale picture book.

"Welcome," her brother announced, smiling at the amazement in her eyes.

"Welcome to the Palace."

~:~*~:~

It was amazing, to say the least.

Bowing before the Queen herself? Her? Sakura? Doing what? What, are you crazy? Why would the Royalties bother with her?

Well, apparently, as she bowed to the Queen, if anyone had told her she would be bowing to the Queen, they wouldn't be completely crazy after all.

"Fire Dreamer… I have heard much about you." The voice was calm, powerful, each word chosen carefully, each word given much weight.

The Queen definitely knew what she was doing.

Sakura stayed silent, knowing that if she spoke out of turn, the Queen could easily order her execution. After all, Royalties were crazy, so who knew what they would do, just for amusement?

"The rumors heard here of you were plentiful," the voice continued on, Sakura silently wondering why couldn't she just leave already, "and very much complimentary."

Sakura was beginning to feel uncomfortable in her bowed position.

"I sent someone to see if the rumors were true, and when the messenger came back to report, he had found more than one surprise."

The Queen, of course, had to speaking of her friends' talents. But if so, why hadn't she invited them as well?

"Oh, but you'll probably hear of that later." Sakura could almost hear the smile curling on a beautiful face to match with the alluring voice the woman had.

Royalties really were crazy.

"The messenger came to me with only praises for your skills, and I could see in his eyes he was still thinking of your show, and I could almost see the fire in his eyes, and he was obviously mesmerized. Fire Dreamer, you have a talent many people would do anything to have."

That was a compliment. A very good one, too. Sakura blushed, though no one could notice with how her auburn hair got in the way of seeing her face.

A sigh came before the voice began to speak again, and Sakura was startled by the noise.

"I dearly wish to see your talents, but I will save that privilege until the Ball. Go and practice, my dear."

With that, there was a rustling, and Sakura could tell it was of heavy robes. Most likely silk, though maybe some other material she hadn't heard of, which was unlikely. But that would mean that the Queen was walking out of the room, and that meant she still couldn't move yet.

Gritting her teeth as she waited for the Queen to be out of earshot, Sakura had to wonder what did the Queen look like.

Soon she could no longer hear the rustling and she lifted her head up in relief. There was no one in the room anymore, obviously vacating it to follow the Queen instead.

Then, a thought suddenly hit her.

_Where am I supposed to practice?_

~:~*~:~

Sakura, after many inquires and threats to a soldier's person with fire and her own personal knife, finally figured out she had her own special training place or something, located somewhere in the gardens.

Her first thought was that that was stupid. Who the heck let someone who practiced with _fire_ practice in the _gardens_, where there was lots of burnable plants?

Wonderful. Royalties were crazy, proven again by this.

Now, if only she could figure out _where_ in the gardens was she supposed to be practicing.

Huffing, she sat down on a rock, fit into one of Tomoyo's special outfits. It was the one that she had spent a week on, and wouldn't let Sakura see until the danged thing was finished, but the final product was breathtaking.

It was a mixture of all the greens that she had ever seen in her lifetime, looking so very like a dress yet not, and when she moved in it the thing rustled so slightly it sounded like the leaves waving in the wind.

It was perfect to blend in with the green fire she had recently come up with.

Suddenly, she heard footsteps, and Sakura's head whipped up, green eyes looking eerily evil amidst the plants and outfit, lighting up with the prospect of threatening the location of her practice place out of the random passerby, be it soldier or some sort of Duke.

And, to her ultimate surprise, it was Yukito, also known as Snow Magician.

"Yukito-san!" she cheered, jumping up immediately and startling the Priest, who laughed once he realized it was Sakura.

"It's nice to see you again, Sakura," he remarked calmly in that cheerful voice of his.

Perhaps a few years ago Sakura would've blushed as hard as she could have, but she had grown out of the crush. Besides, it was awkward when you had a huge crush on your annoying brother's kind best friend. Makes you wonder how they became friends, anyways.

"Could you tell me where I'm supposedly supposed to be practicing?" she instead asked with a sigh, feeling quite tired after all the fruitless searches and threats she had gone through to get where she was now.

"Turn right at the corner right there, and go straight past the peach tree, and from there turn left and you'll find the staging area – you're supposed to practice there," Yukito announced with another smile.

"Arigato, Yukito-san!" Sakura said faintly, not looking forward to the walk.

"Good luck, Sakura-chan!" he said before moving on, his robes that marked him as a Priest shuffling slightly.

Sakura, after following Yukito's directions, found herself at the staging area, exactly as he said she would.

The place was beautiful, seats of polished black obsidian, and a clearing large enough for just about any art to be practiced there with room to spare was the place. Simple, yet not simple at all, in its special own special way.

And then, she began to practice.

~:~*~:~

It had been about a month since she had arrived at the Palace. Well, now it was time to see if her practice did her any good.

She had been told there were four other artists, but nothing else. She would be last. Was that a good thing or a bad thing?

Kinomoto Sakura, however, was currently stuck waiting for some costume designer to come and give her her costume already, and was getting extremely impatient.

Sakura's head snapped up when the door to her current waiting room creaked open and in peaked a very familiar head of silky raven hair and laughing purple eyes.

After a moment of disbelief, she jumped up and hugged her best friend and cousin as tight as she could, Tomoyo returning the favor.

"Sakura!" Tomoyo said happily, the familiar sparkles shining in her eyes. "I'm so glad to see you again! And guess what? They appointed me to be the outfit-maker! I made it especially for you, and it'll look _wonderful_ on you! Now put it on!"

With that said, Tomoyo shoved some sort of soft material into Sakura's hands before rushing out the door, leaving Sakura rather dazed.

"Ummm…?"

Then, silence settled over the room again, leaving Sakura quite alone with her thoughts again. She stared at the material and could make out some red, but it was too dark in her room to see its true wonder.

Because if Tomoyo said it was going to look wonderful on her, it was. They don't call her the Song _Weaver_ for nothing.

Slowly, she got up, random thoughts whirling in her mind. She could sense the fire's power, the enormity of what she was going to perform later.

It was time for her to perform soon, and the sun had long since set. Light was most beautiful when in the darkness, and it seemed the Royalties knew that as well.

After getting dressed and sorting out her thoughts, she emerged from her room, and met Tomoyo outside.

"You look amazing!" Tomoyo announced after looking her over, the sparkles in her eyes still there.

Sakura certainly felt amazing, with how she seemed barely able to feel the cloth on her skin. It felt so light, she felt as if she could do any kind of jump or twist. The outfit consisted of beautiful reds with the slightest trace of pink, looking almost like the dawning sun. It had sleeves stopping half-way down her arm, cut off as if torn off, and the end of outfit was the same, giving it an almost wild look, as if to say _I'm free_. When she shifted, the sparkles on it caught the light, yet there wasn't an overabundance of them so it still looked realistic.

She looked as if she was the fire itself.

"Arigato, Tomoyo," she murmured, green eyes glinting gratefully at her friend.

"You're welcome, Sakura. Now, come on, let's go meet Meiling, who's probably sulking somewhere around here."

They met Meiling a few doors over, and she was sulking for some strange reason. Her beautiful red eyes were glaring daggers on the wooden floor, obviously quite unhappy for some reason.

"What's wrong, Meiling?" Sakura asked tentatively, not sure if her friend would blow up and get angry as she usually did.

"Ah, nothing," she replied, waving the question away before happiness lit her face up.

"You're going to be great, Sakura! Do your best!" she cheered, with Tomoyo agreeing.

"Yes," Sakura agreed, the fire in her green eyes burning again.

"I'll show them who I am."

Her friends escorted her down the stairs, dressed in their own dresses, since they weren't performing. Nobody was milling around the place anymore, giving it a sad empty feeling that Sakura didn't like.

Many turns and doors later, they arrived at one elaborately decorated door, the one that led outside to the final waiting room to go out into the staging area.

Tracing the gold carvings and curves, she slowly calmed her nerves and called upon the fire aura she always had when performing.

"Blow them away, Sakura."

With that thought in mind, she entered the room to meet familiar brown eyes.

"Onii-san," she greeted with a kind of finality.

"They're waiting for you," was his reply and stepped back as the platform began to rise.

_This was it._

There were no more thoughts clouding her mind, no frayed nerves, nothing but the thought of fire.

She closed her bright green eyes as the platform rose out into the open and only when the click that meant she was completely out did she open her eyes.

Sakura's eyes were met with so many people, but all she could focus on were the people that had front row seats, seated in the more comfortable seats that were lavishly embellished.

_Royalties._

She was barely able to make out five women and no men in the Royalties' seats from the dimly lit stars' lighting.

Interesting.

The eldest one, obviously the Queen, stood up and the crowds were immediately silenced.

"My People," she said in that familiar voice, "This is the last part of the show."

There was obvious disappointment in some faces, but mostly eagerness to see what this little girl held that made her so special. The last part of the Autumn Ball was the most special, the one that people talked about for years to come, for the Royalties themselves chose what they wanted to see the most, and they had good taste.

Not quite your usual Ball, hmm?

"Welcome… The Fire Dreamer!"

That was the signal; _start_.

Sakura's arm shot up, throwing tiny fireballs into the sky, lighting the night on fire.

She didn't need dramatic music with drums; she didn't need anything but the night and her fire.

_Home._

Looking into the faces of those already amazed, she wondered how they would react to the more amazing parts of her show. Maybe have a heart-attack.

The fireballs began to react to gravity and as they fell she threw a few more up, turning the colors from the normal red to blue.

She jumped high into the air, launching herself in-between the intricate circle and twisting all the while, her hair tightly put into a ponytail spinning with her, her outfit fitting her slim body perfectly so there was no need to worry it would catch on fire.

Once she was right in the middle of the circle, she created a larger fireball; red, like her dress. She coiled herself around to hug it and she could hear the audible gasps, the crowds expecting her to be burnt from such reckless touching of _fire_.

They could never understand; fire was apart of her, and when fire and fire touched, then came an even greater fire. Fire was her light.

She landed on the ground with even two feet. The rest of the tiny fireballs were finally pulled down by gravity and landed around her in a circle formation, leaving her right in the middle, her huge red fireball still in her arms.

In a swift motion as she pushed down on the fireball, the fire parted for her hands and swept across the staging area, traveling wherever there was space, coming dangerously close to the audience.

There was complete silence as Sakura stood there, hands still parted as if she was pushing down on the fire ball to the sides, amidst a sea of flames, flickering red, orange, and yellow, lighting up the whole stage that was once so hard to see from the dim stars. The circle of blue fire prevented the rest from reaching the Fire Dreamer.

For a few moments, she simply stood there, letting the sounds of the night rush into her senses, her green eyes looking eerily like tiny green flames amongst a large blaze.

Then, she began to move.

It was a dance, the soft fabric moving against her legs as she moved gracefully in her tiny circle.

With another jump, she flipped herself and landed on her hands, and she could hear the fire roaring, moving, wanting to dance with her.

She stretched one hand into the fire and removed it to hold a flame.

The crowd watched, breathless as she began moving, back on her feet, dancing, with such quick movements it could only be a _dream_.

The one hand that held a flame of fire moved so quickly a trail of fire was left in the air as she continued to dance.

Quickly, she snatched up another flame of fire in her empty hand and her moves became impossibly complicated, writhing and curling.

Before anyone had realized what was happening, she had thrown her arms out and the flames disappeared, along with the sea of flames.

But the circle of blue flames remained, and she bent down to pick one up, throwing it up high.

One by one, the tiny flame of circles became undone as she threw each one up to join the first, the colors becoming distorted and lightening until it was some sort of dark yellow.

Sakura picked the last tiny fireball up and threw it into the large yellow ball, turning it into a dandelion golden-yellow. She opened her arms, face facing the heavenly night sky and yellow fireball.

When it reached as far as it could, the ball burst apart with a loud noise and little golden bits that looked like stars floated down, on the audience, on Sakura, no one was spared.

There were delighted cheers as a child soon figured out he was not going to burn if the golden flames touched him, and showed his mother with delighted large eyes.

The rest of the audience soon figured out the same thing and the applause grew louder and louder as Sakura smiled at them, taking a bow.

The Queen seemed very pleased and Sakura was just glad for the whole thing to be over with.

_Now I can go home…_

But apparently, there was more, because the platforms surrounding her position all lowered and when they came up, there were the other artists who displayed their talents in the Autumn Ball. Takashi Yamazaki, Lying Mask, for example, was there.

The Queen herself walked out onto the stage and turned to face the audience.

"My People, there is something important I must have you know."

Sakura's curiosity was burning now. The Queen had sounded almost _apologetic_. Now, why would that be…?

Another platform was lowered, and as it began to rise, the Queen continued on.

"My son and another one of my family who I consider as my own daughter have finally been found. They had not died, and I am afraid I have lied to you all."

Two heads appeared, one of messy brown hair and a head of jet black hair, so sleek, so familiar…

"I had sent them both to learn of the world, to a small village called Clow."

Sakura's eyes widened.

"Please, welcome, heir to the throne and one of his dearest friends, Li Syaoran and Li Meiling!"


	22. Rain

_**Rain**_

This is dedicated to Anon. E. Moose, who wrote the most amazing review that immediately lifted my damp spirits. THANK YOU.

I realized that I was being extremely petty, wishing I had gotten more reviews, so this'll be for my own personal amusement from now on. xD Now I present to you my extremely angsty little drabble-y thing.

* * *

"Sakura… _No…_"

But all she could offer as consolation was a tight, sad smile, her large green eyes swirling with all sorts of emotions. Guiltiness, sorrow, but she didn't seem unsure of her decision at all. Her decision was made, and that would be all.

And little dots of the complete darkness overtook his sight, washing over him with a horribly _cold_ feeling, as the rain was forgotten.

The darkness fell onto him.


	23. Believe

_**Believe**_

Have any of you read the Three Kingdoms? Or even heard of it. Well, I didn't actually read it, just watched the cartoon Three Kingdoms that was playing on the kid's channel in China at one point. It was inspiring… The strategies, the awesome traditions, the extremely amusing wins?

* * *

The discussion was soft, so quiet that Sakura could barely hear it. Not that she cared, anyways. War was men's doing, and thus it would be their work to finish it.

She entered the room without a sound, her feet landing on the floor silently. Her husband, however, noticed her immediately. How, she would never know.

"Ying Fa," he said, his amber eyes lighting up as he ran a hand through his hair.

"Xiao Lang, there is a message for you."

He took the scroll from her as the rest of his men got up with a few groans and stretches. His eyes swept through the scroll swiftly before handing it back to his wife.

"What do you propose we do?" he asked her quietly, but within the nearly silent room, it seemed almost loud.

"It is not my decision to make."

"But you know a way."

Sakura hesitated for a moment before answering. "Yes."

"Whatever it is, just a thought will be of great help."

She smiled. "Who would believe a woman?"

"I would."

Sakura sighed at his antics. "Other than you."

"What about me," a dark-haired man said in a mockingly offended voice, taking another step to be by Xiao Lang's side.

She rolled her eyes fondly, tucking the scroll into a more comfortable position.

"You're different. You actually know me."

Amber eyes seemed to glint gleefully in the dim lighting. "Well then, we'll just have to show them what you can do, won't we?"


	24. Fallen Angel

_**Fallen Angel**_

Haah… I had kind of continued Veiled Smile a long, long time ago, too… xD

* * *

It was still dark out when the alarm began to ring. It had a slightly scratchy ring to it, which didn't help to soothe her drowsiness. A fist shot out and brought itself down on the poor alarm, which immediately quieted like a beaten dog. A groan spread through the room as the blankets were slowly pushed away and a figure emerged from her sleep.

"Hmm," she mumbled dreamily, looking at the time, before a big yawn erupted from her mouth. She stretched once, slipped into a pure white sunflower dress, and without making a sound stepped into the balcony. Another nightmare, another day. Barefooted, she stepped onto the railing, feeling its coolness against her skin. Then, she jumped.

The wind upon her face, the sun beginning to rise with its warm orange glow, the ground coming dangerously close, it all exhilarated her. Then, beautiful pure white wings opened and she swooped up.

The dropping didn't stop immediately though. The wind pressure pushed against the wings, but she stopped falling just as her foot touched the ground. Had anyone cared look outside, they would've seen a descending angel. A fallen angel. But then, her wings felt the wind on them and twitched ever so slightly, wishing to lift up in the air. Using her foot to launch her body up, her wings began flapping and she twirled in the air.

After she had her fill of fresh air, she flew high up to her balcony, stepped on the railing, and jumped down. Arms spread, her wings shot back in, leaving a few feathers behind, sparkling magically and gently falling down to her outstretched hand.

Her eyes were a sad green.

Her hair was a messed up light brown.

Her aura was a regal everything.

She was a liar, trickster, witch. But what people remembered about her was that beautiful angelic smile, and the fact she was a princess. _Their_ princess.

She closed her eyes, and when she opened them all that sadness in her eyes had disappeared. In its stead stood a steel wall of determination. Determination to do what she had to do.

She stood up and looked to the sun, which was already pretty high up in the sky, and her eyes were a green muddle of emotions. Desperation, fear, anger, but most of all, sadness. The her she did not want to admit.

Ever.


	25. War and Family

_**War and Family**_

Elements of Tsubasa Reservoir Chronicles are in this story. That doesn't belong to me. Cardcaptor Sakura doesn't belong to me either.

* * *

War was horrible, filled with death. There was no good or bad in war, for the soldiers on each side fought for something they believed in. There were only pointless deaths.

King Fujitaka of Clow Kingdom was tired. His beloved wife had died years ago, leaving him to raise a boy and girl all on his own, as well as a war to fight.

King Fei Wong of Reed Kingdom was a cruel man, and Fujitaka had endured all the silent taunts until his wife was murdered. That had been the last straw.

Queen Nadeshiko had been loved by all of Clow Kingdom, and once word reached their ears that their beloved Queen had been murdered and their King was ready to go to war, they jumped into the bandwagon without a second thought. It would teach the Reed Kingdom not to mess with them.

Princess Sakura Kinomoto had grown up without a mother and her father was far too busy with matters of his kingdom. All she had was her brother, no matter how annoyingly protective he may be. But when he was sent to the frontlines of the war, she was all alone.

"-Father."

Fujitaka Kinomoto's eyes shifted from his War Council to the tiny form at the doors. His daughter. The one he hadn't seen in weeks. The one with Nadeshiko's beautiful green eyes.

"What do you request of me, Daughter?"

"I wish to join the Council."

There were protests immediately, but mostly for her sake. Cerberus, one of his chief generals, often played with Sakura, and couldn't bear to think of her in danger. Even the stoic Yue would smile at the kind girl.

"You are but a child, Sakura. I could never let you join the Council."

"Father. _Listen to me._"

Ahh, her eyes. Nadeshiko's eyes. Glaring at him, her mouth telling him to listen. He would gladly do anything to keep his beautiful daughter away from the matters of war, but she was far too intelligent for her own good. Especially for an eight-year-old.

"I am not as naïve as you believe. I have seen men go to war, I have seen the effects of war, I know that there is blood shed. I can help the Council, and you can this war as quickly as possible if you'd just let me help. You cannot keep me innocent forever, Father."

Fujitaka wouldn't be surprised at all if his little girl did know some strategies they'd never thought of. She was intelligent, beautiful, kind, and pure. And he loved her. So why wouldn't she let him protect her?

"Sakura. We shall speak of this later."

His daughter regarded him with sad green eyes, green the shade of the forests Clow Kingdom were famous for, and left.

~:~*~:~

"Sakura. What are you thinking?"

"Father. You know perfectly well that I am an intelligent child, that you cannot keep me away from the cruelty of war forever. I can accept the blood shed upon each battlefield. I can help you win."

Fujitaka buried his face in his hands, his eyes feeling tired and heavy from lack of sleep.

"You need to rest, Father," Sakura's voice said in a softer, gentler tone than her normal neutral one.

"…Very well, Sakura. Just don't expect me to like it, nor any of the other generals."

"Thank you, Father."

He looked up just in time to see her auburn hair swinging as she hugged him tightly before scurrying away.

His thoughts wandered as his eyes softened. _When was the last time she hugged me?

* * *

_

Will probably add more random sequels to this. ^_^


	26. Golden

_**Golden**_

More romantic than I usually write... Hah, me and my love of angst. xD

* * *

Bells that tinkled, musical notes spreading through a large room; they were golden sounds.

Upon three chains of beads, one chain is blue, one red, and the other black. The blue chain is overall the most beautiful, yet the black chain is alluring with its own simplicity. And the red… The beads are ugly, yet the last bead is a beautiful white droplet, gold curling itself around the droplet, shimmering in the light.

Golden.

Boyfriends have come and gone, but once upon a time one of them was rich. He spent money on things she didn't need, a gold watch glinting in the sunlight.

Golden.

All she needed was something simple, something she was comfortable with. She didn't need money nor riches nor fame. She needed happiness. She needed her own simple gold, but never in the literal sense.

With his hair shining golden in the sunlight as she leaned into him, she knew she'd found it.


	27. Bitterness

B I T T E R N E S S

It has always been apart of me.

* * *

_A single tear amidst the vast ocean will never be noticed._

_The silence is suffocating._

~:~*~:~

The bitterness was created when I first fell asleep to those unforgiving dreams, giving way to unconsciousness, letting the darkness creep over me.

Once etched upon my heart, it can never fade away.

I fall to the darkness in the depths of my mind, where I can cry upon nothingness without anyone to watch, anyone to scream.

_When I am gone, what will be left?_

~:~*~:~

There are no more colors for me anymore.

Just black, white, and the color in-between. What was it called again? Oh, right, grey.

White is too bright for me. Grey is rather ugly. Black is ugly, too, but in a strangely calming way. As if, when I reach for it, everything will be fine, anything I don't like won't be there.

_The darkness is my friend and ally, and I wonder how far I will have to fall before I can sleep._

~:~*~:~

Would you happen to know me?

I'm not really sure who I am anymore. Who was I? What am I? What will I be? All useless questions that I will never know.

…Excuse me? What were we talking about again?

_I can't remember why I live anymore._

~:~*~:~

Uncertainty follows my every step, and hesitation, I'm sure, shines in my eyes.

I'm still waiting to hear your voice again, telling me I'll be fine, and yet, your voice is fading away.

Perhaps, somewhere in my heart, I know I won't hear that voice again.

_Your voice is disappearing, and when I call out, my voice will be gone, too._

~:~*~:~

The falling rain cannot touch my heart, and even if the world cried, I would not open my heart again.

Strange, how the sky is blue when my heart weeps, and it rains when my heart is unreachable.

Nobody understands me.

_I can't hear anything, not the rain, not the world, not my heart crying when my eyes cannot._

~:~*~:~

My smile is a lie.

I'm surrounded by "friends", yet I'm so utterly alone.

If the world around me was filled with lies too, then would that make my life a lie as well?

_I am a lie._

~:~*~:~

I was a child that had grown up too fast, torn between adulthood and childhood, unsure of what I was supposed to be.

If I reached out, I would have to choose. A child, which fit my body just right?

Or an adult, where my mind was already far past?

_Either way, child or adult, I was in the wrong category._

~:~*~:~

Death has stolen away my life.

Not literally, but the world around me I had once built had shattered because of it.

I did not fear death. In fact, I knew the fear of death would be what got a person killed.

But how I wish I did fear death.

_Death, the taste of iron blood in your mouth, slips out of my grasp, and that, too, I cannot attain._

~:~*~:~

_Tick, tock, the clock tick tocks_

_Time continues_

_Left alone,_

_Never truly sleeping,_

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick, tock._

_Tick._

_

* * *

_

I think this is my first first-person story… This is what got me started on Lost Wings.


	28. Looking Back

_**Looking Back**_

Because it's hard.

* * *

To say that he didn't look back would be a lie. Because it was harder to look back than it was to not, because if he didn't he could pretend that everything was fine.

So he looked back, tears trickling down his face and leaving a trail of wetness that would never disappear, physically or not.

_

* * *

What're you going to do?_

She was gasping for air, cursing the enemy, cursing her allies, cursing herself for being so goddamned weak.

_Cursing the war._

"Help," she rasped, eyes bright with pain, "please please _someone dear god help_."

_If God was real, we wouldn't all be in pain_.

Death is not silent. It sets off with a boom and crackle. Then the screams come.

_Why'd you leave me here?_

Death is not ice cold, nor does it burn like hell. It is pain. Pain that isn't cold or hot, pain that simply _hurts_.

Death hurts because you know you're leaving people that will cry for you and nothing will ever be the same for them. It hurts because you suddenly realize you've done next to nothing in your life and then you're just going to go and _leave_.

"Why?" she sobbed but it was just the heaving of her body without the tears because she couldn't muster up the strength to actually cry full tears. "_Why?_"

But there is no answer to such a vague question.

* * *

It is under the silence of the night that he stopped crying and began crying.

Everything was so normal it hurt.

Life was continuing on even though it should have stopped without her. _It should've stopped because he abandoned her._

Such is war.

He swore to never cry again as his heart broke to tiny shards that would be swept away in the wind.

* * *

It figured that she couldn't even die in peace.

Every explosion, every muffled shout she couldn't quite hear through the boulder that was kind of blocking her only served to make her worry.

_Was their side winning? Or were the enemies winning?_

_Most importantly, was her sacrifice in vain?_

She cursed every god she could curse.

* * *

"Never again," he said, his voice cracking from disuse.

"If that is what you wish," his commanding officer said coldly. "If you wish to let all her work die just like that."

"You don't understand. _I can't_."

"You can," she hissed back. "You're not the only one that misses her, dammit! This simply means we have to try harder, kill more of their men and avenge her."

"I can't. I can't do this without thinking of her."

"Then think of her while doing it. Remember that all you do is for her so that she may rest in peace, wherever she is."

"I can't even give her a real burial."

"We'll find her body once we finish with the enemy. She'd have wanted that."

"You're her _cousin_. Have you no feeling?"

The girl whipped around and he stared right back at her unfeeling eyes.

"This is war," she said. "Sacrifices must be made, no matter how much we hate it."

He stared at her, amber eyes blank and fevered with guilt.

"…Alright."

* * *

Kinomoto Sakura died in a pool of her own blood.

Li Syaoran died on the battlefield.

Daidouji Tomoyo killed herself after finding her cousin's half-rotting body once the war was over and made sure her cousin was buried with her would've-been husband.

This is war.

"Upon this battlefield, I see chaos. I see heroes, on each side, fighting. I see heroes, each and every single one of them, fighting for what they believe in. I see heroes, nameless, famous. I see heroes, dying pointless deaths, but honorable.

"I see war."

* * *

This is something that I could've put in Again. But didn't. Because it was too fragment-y. There were too many little pieces.


End file.
